Search Query Theatre

As per Aquarion, some of the more bizarre search queries that have brought people to recently:

things to know when in prison
If you drop the soap in the shower, don’t pick it up
does chicken make u fat ?
No. Believe me, I know. Pizzas make you fat. Not doing any running makes you fat. Chicken’s really healthy. As are cigarettes.
when did the first molluscs appear on earth
Got some homework to do there, huh?
need to lose weight because penis is small
ahahahahahahahahaha. ahaha. ha ha ha. ahahaha.
neopet porn
Oh my God. My daughter looks at Christ almighty.
how to get a dieing cat to eat
For God’s sake! Take it to the vet! Don’t search the bleedin’ internet!
is huh a word
because she’s silently screaming, cant you hear her? listen carefully
the cheapest thing you can buy from ikea
Any advance on a BÄSTIS hook for £1.49? See, this is why all websites need an API. I don’t have time to screenscrape the site, so see if you can find something cheaper.
he started punching him in the face
Why? Why would you search for this? Why?

Tea-focused questions

should you put milk one with earl grey
No! No you shouldn’t! No! Don’t do it!
how to get someone to make a cup of tea
What you do is constantly piss and moan about it until they cave in. Well, that’s what I do.
optimum infusion water temperature for a tea bag
Boiling! Boil the water! How hard can this be?

That’s enough of that. I’m just getting annoyed now.

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