The bloody bloody bloody smoke alarm won’t stop beeping.
No, no, it’s not beeping constantly. I’m not sitting in a house on fire complaining about the noise. It’s beeping a lot, though. Battery must be running out. It’s annoying enough to irritate the shit out of me but not annoying enough to go and fix.
Scratch that. I’m gonna fix it. Possibly with a mallet.
Update: I can’t tell which one’s broken, because it’s stopped now. I bet it starts at five in the damned morning, though. I hate electrical stuff. I’m gonna live on an island. It worked for Tom Hanks.

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