I’m just undertall

Have started a diet. Be interesting to see if it lasts. No damned “no-protein” stupid diet either, which is better than a fair few people. Things I have discovered so far:

  • When you get peckish at 10pm, a piece of fruit works just as well as a cheese sandwich. I was actually genuinely amazed by this. Really. This might explain why I need to be on this diet.
  • All this SlimFast crap is actually relatively tasty.
  • Not eating when you are not hungry is pretty easy, too, as long as you’re not just on auto-pilot.
  • It’s probably not the best idea to have a burger with slices of Camembert on it when you go round to Bill and Ginny’s house for a barbecue at the weekend.
  • Burgers with Camembert are really, really nice. I recommend them wholeheartedly.
  • It is surprisingly easy, also, to have dietary-friendly things when you’re out with people without looking like an arse. Ate the chicken at the barbecue without eating the skin, with no fuss. (Ignore the burger weakness.) Out on Saturday at Wicksteed Park, so I ordered a Diet Pepsi instead of an ordinary Pepsi, and it wasn’t too bad and no-one batted an eyelid. This is a good thing.
  • Beer contains a lot of calories. This is a problem, because I drink a reasonable amount when I’m with friends and I don’t intend to stop. That’ll just have to be my downfall, perhaps.
  • A Slimfast “meal replacement” doesn’t replace a meal; it replaces about three-quarters of a meal. So I get hungry afterwards. Time to break out that fruit I mentioned.
  • When these diet things say “eat fruit as a snack” they mean “eat fruit except bananas”. Apparently a banana is the fructory equivalent of a Mars bar, or possibly a large lard sandwich. What kind of sick God made the nicest fruit no good for you, eh? That’s just bloody cruel.

But, so far, as you may have gathered, it’s not that difficult to do this. So I will be thin and hunky.

Except not hunky.

And it will probably take until Christmas. Assuming I stick with it.

More news (from your svelte new host) as it happens…

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