This is as days pass by, by Stuart Langridge

Dave "Fargo" Kosak wrote a bot to play Star Wars Galaxies (via Alan Green), and it's brilliant. The "Autocamp 2000", as he christened it, plays by the following rules:

1. Join any group that invites you
2. When in a group, follow behind the leader
3. Attack any monster you see
4. Accept all trade requests from other players, then give them a melon

Give them a melon. Really! That's what it does!

It also talks to other players, using the following rules:

1. If someone says something ending in a question mark, respond by saying "Dude?"
2. If someone says something ending in an exclamation point, respond by saying "Dude!"
3. If someone says something ending with a period, respond by randomly saying one of three things: "Okie," "Sure," or "Right on."
4. EXCEPTION: If someone says something directly to you by mentioning your name, respond by saying "Lag."
5. (And remember to accept all trade requests from other players by giving them a melon.)

He's got a transcript of how the bot does at the game. It's hilarious. Shows up just how vacant some MMORPGs can be, too. But mainly hilarious. I mean, it's probably all completely made up. But either this is a real depiction of how funny MMORPGs are or Fargo is a comedy genius, and I'm happy with either.

[Troobacca opens a trade with Farglik.]
[Farglik hands him a melon.]
Troobacca: ...what's this?
Farglik: Dude?
Troobacca: You handed me a melon!
Farglik: Dude!

None