Transcript of David Eddings tape
Hi, funseekers. I thought this might be faster and more personalised than a scribble. [laugh] I'd pretend to be Mr. Nice Guy but to be honest about it I'm trying to save wear and tear on my working hand. I know it sounds archaic but I still compose in longhand, so let's preserve and protect them precious fingers, shall we? (in exaggerated Deep South accent). No, I don't own, or plan to ever own, a computer. I'm too old a dog to learn new tricks. This particular work habit has produced 22 books so far, and I'm not about to mess around with it.
Mr Langridge mentioned an argument about pronunciation. How would you like some answers right from the horse's mouth? Please, no clever remarks about the other end of the horse. These are the real pronunciations:
Riva (REE-vuh) and the Rivans (REE-vuhns)
Polgara (POL-g*r*) [with * as a in bat]
I've had an argument about that. People keep wanting to say Polgara (pol-guhruh) for some reason.
Belgarath (BEL-guh-r*th)
Beldin (bel-DIN)
Garion (G*R-ee-un)
...naturally...
Ce'Nedra (suh-NAYdruh)
not Ce'Nedra (suh-NED-ruh) for God's sake
Mandorallen (M*N-dor*llun)
Lelldorin (LEL-duh-rin)
Cthol Murgos (THOLL MURgose)
and the accompanying
Ctuchik (TOO-chick)
The 'c' is silent; if you try to pronounce the 'c' in these words you'll sound like you're sneezing.
Zakath (Z*-karth)
Durnik (DUR-nik)
Cyradis (SEE-rahdis)
Salmissra (S*L-MISS-ruh)
Most of my Nyissan names have lots of 's's in them because they're the snake people.
Zedar (ZAY-dahr)
not Zedar (ZED-ahr)
Angarak (AN-guh-r*k)
Melcene (mel-seen)
Dalasia (D*L-ay-zhuh)
not Dalasia (DULL-a-zhuh)
..enough of that.
[cough] [sound of turning pages]
Pushing on, then, I have been receiving inquiries from people who have a wonderful idea: "Gee, I bet we could make a real swell computer game out of the Garion story". The answer is always the same. I start with "No", and it goes downhill from there. I categorically refuse to permit that kind of contamination. Nobody's going to permit it [corrects himself] going to be permitted to alter our story for fun and profit. I may be speaking to an unfriendly audience here, considering the point of origin of this little get-together, but the whole idea makes my blood boil. We write books, not blueprints for some real swell version of Nintendariad of PacManalloreon. If people want our story, I'm gonna make damn sure that the only way they're going to get it is to break down and actually read it. No moving picture version, no TV miniseries, no computer game, and nothing that might arise in the far distant future.
Reading is a solitary activity, and that might be why many people aren't comfortable with it. Solitude seems to frighten a lot of people for some reason; I suspect the heavy-handed influence of the social worker or counsellor industry at work here, and those of you who have read The Losers know all about my opinion of that particular group of people. You wanna drive a counsellor crazy? When they ask you in that syrupy voice that seems to be their trademark, "Do you want to talk about it?", just answer "Not particularly, no". They go absolutely wild when you do that.
[rustling pages]
I also get letters pleading for "more, more, more!" I'd be flattered, but they only seem to want more Garion books. Sorry, gang, the Garion story is complete the way it stands. I refuse to dribble off into "Garion and the Ant People" just to make a few more dollars. I won't ride a dead horse with endless tackons. Belgariad and so forth is fine just as it is, and I always follow the main rule: If it ain't busted, don't fix it! [laugh] A slight variation of that rule might be: If they still want more, it's probably a good place to stop. I think that says it all.
OK, I'll let you go back to your party now. Ave atque vale. You could always look it up...